Your childhood family has deep meaning and significance throughout your entire life. The major role family plays in shaping young adults is beautifully captured in this video of One Direction playing "Story of My Life":
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Monday, March 31, 2014
Multiple Warnings Lead to Anger Not Better Behavior
Do you ever find yourself giving your kids multiple warnings? Do you ever say "How many times do I have to tell you?"
Watch this video clip from the movie “Kramer versus Kramer” and pay attention to how this dad feels as his son repeatedly ignores his warnings.
For parenting ideas that work better than multiple warnings and commands, take a Priceless Parenting online parenting class starting today!
Watch this video clip from the movie “Kramer versus Kramer” and pay attention to how this dad feels as his son repeatedly ignores his warnings.
For parenting ideas that work better than multiple warnings and commands, take a Priceless Parenting online parenting class starting today!
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Not Having Enough Time with My Kids
A mom wrote that her biggest parenting challenge is not having enough time with her kids. What an important realization! This is a problem worth solving. Your kids blossom when they have plenty of your time and you feel more relaxed.
Although I don’t know this mom’s personal situation, I do know that it is worth getting creative to figure out how to free up more time to be with her kids. Your kids keep growing and changing every day and there is no way to get that precious time back once it’s gone.
Have you found ways to free up more time so you can be with your kids? While each person’s situation is different, freeing up more time often involves things like
You can guarantee that in 10 years you won’t look back and wish you had kept the bathrooms a little cleaner. However, you will look back and appreciate the memories of spending time with your kids.
Although I don’t know this mom’s personal situation, I do know that it is worth getting creative to figure out how to free up more time to be with her kids. Your kids keep growing and changing every day and there is no way to get that precious time back once it’s gone.
Have you found ways to free up more time so you can be with your kids? While each person’s situation is different, freeing up more time often involves things like
- Changing work schedules or situations (like no longer traveling for work)
- Letting less important tasks slip (perhaps the house won’t be quite as clean!)
- Asking neighbors, friends or relatives for help
- Finding ways to involve your kids in your tasks (like including them in meal preparation)
You can guarantee that in 10 years you won’t look back and wish you had kept the bathrooms a little cleaner. However, you will look back and appreciate the memories of spending time with your kids.
Friday, February 28, 2014
When Parent's Words Seriously Hurt Children
When you say something negative to your children, it may end up haunting them for the rest of their lives. In this video, Bobbie talks about the pain she experiences as an adult as a result of hearing her dad tell her "I wish you were never born" when she was 5-years-old.
Nick Ortner, founder of the Tapping Solution, walks her through the experience using tapping to release the strong emotion that she still has around that event.
Nick Ortner, founder of the Tapping Solution, walks her through the experience using tapping to release the strong emotion that she still has around that event.
Monday, February 17, 2014
Discipline Without Screaming and Threatening
A mom wrote that her biggest parenting challenge is to discipline without screaming and threatening. This is a common parenting struggle as it’s a very natural reaction to increase your volume when your kids don’t obey the first time. Before you know it, you’ve added threats to try to force them to behave.
When you start yelling and threatening, you really let your kids off the hook for their poor behavior. Now they can focus on your out-of-control behavior instead of their own misbehavior.
If you can remain calm and actually lower your voice, you will be in a more powerful position. By remaining composed, you can hold your kids accountable for their behavior without escalating the situation.
Is it easy? No! But I learned to change my screaming into calm, confident parenting and you can too! Discover the effective parenting ideas in Priceless Parenting’s online parenting classes.
When you start yelling and threatening, you really let your kids off the hook for their poor behavior. Now they can focus on your out-of-control behavior instead of their own misbehavior.
If you can remain calm and actually lower your voice, you will be in a more powerful position. By remaining composed, you can hold your kids accountable for their behavior without escalating the situation.
Is it easy? No! But I learned to change my screaming into calm, confident parenting and you can too! Discover the effective parenting ideas in Priceless Parenting’s online parenting classes.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
6-Week Online Parenting Class - Start Today!
Parenting is a dance you do with your kids. If you don't like their moves, take this class and learn how to change your lead! | ||||
Discover your children's strengths and increase their competence Aim for high expectations based on your children's developmental level Notice misbehavior and respond with reasonable, valuable consequences Control your reaction to stressful parenting situations Enjoy your children and take time to renew yourself |  | |||
Priceless Parenting classes are grounded on decades of positive parenting experiences from real life situations and backed by the latest scientific research in child development. The DANCE Parenting Class combines the powerful online parenting classes and written questions/answers with the class author, Kathy Slattengren, M.Ed. | ||||
Space is limited. Register today for one of these classes.
| ||||
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Successfully Tackling Touchy Topics
How do you feel when you need to talk to your child, your child’s teacher, your spouse or someone else about a touchy topic? Are you excited to address this important issue or do you feel like running in the opposite direction? Most people feel a significant amount of anxiety when they think about addressing a situation which is emotionally charged and opinions differ.
When approaching a difficult conversation you have three basic options:
1. Choose to ignore it and hope the situation magically gets better.
2. Launch head first into the conversation and handle it poorly.
3. Prepare ahead of time and handle the conversation well.
While it would be great if challenging situations got better on their own, since this rarely happens let’s look at how you can prepare to handle the conversation well.
Preparing for the Conversation
You will increase the odds of having a productive conversation if you prepare ahead of time. Begin by considering your motive for having this conversation.
In the book Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, the authors identify three important questions to ask yourself when preparing for a crucial conversation:
(finish reading the article on Priceless Parenting)
When approaching a difficult conversation you have three basic options:
1. Choose to ignore it and hope the situation magically gets better.
2. Launch head first into the conversation and handle it poorly.
3. Prepare ahead of time and handle the conversation well.
While it would be great if challenging situations got better on their own, since this rarely happens let’s look at how you can prepare to handle the conversation well.
Preparing for the Conversation
You will increase the odds of having a productive conversation if you prepare ahead of time. Begin by considering your motive for having this conversation.
In the book Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, the authors identify three important questions to ask yourself when preparing for a crucial conversation:
(finish reading the article on Priceless Parenting)
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Top 10 Popular Articles from Last Year
These are the articles from Priceless Parenting that were most often read throughout the past year:
- Changing Your Children's Thinking from Negative to Positive
- Limiting Screen Time for Kids
- Improving Your Children's Motivation
- 3 Keys to Developing Children's Empathy
- Making and Breaking Promises
- Allowing Your Children to Struggle is Often the Best Way Through a Problem
- Learning How to Fit into Peer Groups And Find Friends
- How You Unintentionally Encourage Misbehavior
- Lying, Cheating and Stealing
- Responding to Your Kids Swearing
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
DANCE Parenting Classes January 12-25, 2014 (from your own home)
Parenting is a dance you do with your kids. If you don't like their moves, take this class and learn how to change your lead! | ||||
Discover your children's strengths and increase their competence Aim for high expectations based on your children's developmental level Notice misbehavior and respond with reasonable, valuable consequences Control your reaction to stressful parenting situations Enjoy your children and take time to renew yourself | | |||
Priceless Parenting classes are grounded on decades of positive parenting experiences from real life situations and backed by the latest scientific research in child development. The DANCE Parenting Class combines the powerful online parenting classes and written questions/answers with the class author, Kathy Slattengren, M.Ed. | ||||
Space is limited. Register today for one of these classes.
| ||||
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Looking to be a Better Mom
A mom emailed me asking for information about the online parenting classes. She concluded saying "I am the mom of a 3 yr old and a 5 yr old (both boys) and am just looking to be a better mom. Tired of power struggles, whining and feeling like a failure. No court order here - just want to raise happy, healthy, self-reliant children and feel like I'm not accomplishing that now."
Ouch! Her honesty took me back to how I felt when our oldest was 3-years-old and really pushing our buttons. I remember her doing something she knew she should not be doing and looking us straight in the eye as she did it. I was furious! I felt like spanking her but I had promised myself not to hit my kids so I needed some other response to correct her behavior.
My husband and I decided to take parenting classes and that was one of the smartest decisions we've made. It was like gaining access to the "cheat sheet" on what works well in raising kids! I started Priceless Parenting so parents everywhere could learn these ideas that make parenting so much easier.
You can learn these ideas by taking one of the self-paced online parenting classes (ages 5 and under, 6 to 12 or teens). If you want to be able to ask me questions on the lessons and get my responses, then you want to sign up for a DANCE Parenting Class. The DANCE class runs for 2 weeks and the next one is Nov. 9 - 22nd. Both formats allow you to watch the lessons at your own time and place.
You should leave the class feeling much more confident in your parenting approach. You will learn how to calmly set firm limits on your children’s behavior, invite cooperation and have a lot more fun together. I’d love to have you in class!
Ouch! Her honesty took me back to how I felt when our oldest was 3-years-old and really pushing our buttons. I remember her doing something she knew she should not be doing and looking us straight in the eye as she did it. I was furious! I felt like spanking her but I had promised myself not to hit my kids so I needed some other response to correct her behavior.
My husband and I decided to take parenting classes and that was one of the smartest decisions we've made. It was like gaining access to the "cheat sheet" on what works well in raising kids! I started Priceless Parenting so parents everywhere could learn these ideas that make parenting so much easier.
You can learn these ideas by taking one of the self-paced online parenting classes (ages 5 and under, 6 to 12 or teens). If you want to be able to ask me questions on the lessons and get my responses, then you want to sign up for a DANCE Parenting Class. The DANCE class runs for 2 weeks and the next one is Nov. 9 - 22nd. Both formats allow you to watch the lessons at your own time and place.
You should leave the class feeling much more confident in your parenting approach. You will learn how to calmly set firm limits on your children’s behavior, invite cooperation and have a lot more fun together. I’d love to have you in class!
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
DANCE Parenting Class: October 6 - 19, 2013
Parenting is a dance you do with your kids. If you don't like their moves, take this class and learn how to change your lead! | ||||
Discover your children's strengths and increase their competence Aim for high expectations based on your children's developmental level Notice misbehavior and respond with reasonable, valuable consequences Control your reaction to stressful parenting situations Enjoy your children and take time to renew yourself | | |||
Priceless Parenting classes are grounded on decades of positive parenting experiences from real life situations and backed by the latest scientific research in child development. The DANCE Parenting Class combines the powerful online parenting classes with discussion and questions/answers with the class author, Kathy Slattengren, M.Ed. | ||||
Space is limited. Register today for one of these classes.
| ||||
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Seeing Your Child's Behavioral Problems from Their Viewpoint
Why is my child behaving like that? Almost all parents have found themselves asking that question as they watch their child throw a tantrum, hit another child or refuse to cooperate. What is causing my child to misbehave and what can I do to change it?
These are the questions that pediatrician Claudia Gold has been asked many times by parents. Gold has discovered that listening to parents describe their child's behavior in specific situations along with their thoughts and feelings about the behavior provides valuable insight. Once the parents feel understood they are in a far better position to understand their child’s perspective.
Often the child’s behavior is connected to what is happening in the rest of the family. In her book Keeping Your Child in Mind: Overcoming Defiance, Tantrums, and Other Everyday Behavior Problems by Seeing the World through Your Child's Eyes, Gold tells numerous stories where she helped parents see those connections and better understand their child’s behavior.
Gold writes "Being understood by someone you love is one of the most powerful feelings, at all ages. For a young child, it is the most important of all experiences because it allows the child’s mind and sense of self to grow."
If you want some ideas about how to see the world from your children’s eyes, this book can help pave the way.
These are the questions that pediatrician Claudia Gold has been asked many times by parents. Gold has discovered that listening to parents describe their child's behavior in specific situations along with their thoughts and feelings about the behavior provides valuable insight. Once the parents feel understood they are in a far better position to understand their child’s perspective.
Often the child’s behavior is connected to what is happening in the rest of the family. In her book Keeping Your Child in Mind: Overcoming Defiance, Tantrums, and Other Everyday Behavior Problems by Seeing the World through Your Child's Eyes, Gold tells numerous stories where she helped parents see those connections and better understand their child’s behavior.
Gold writes "Being understood by someone you love is one of the most powerful feelings, at all ages. For a young child, it is the most important of all experiences because it allows the child’s mind and sense of self to grow."
If you want some ideas about how to see the world from your children’s eyes, this book can help pave the way.
Friday, June 7, 2013
Improving Communication Through Family Meetings
Do you ever feel like the members of your family are not all on the same page? Is there family stress around trying to get everything done? Are you concerned about an ongoing problems with your kids?
Family meetings are a wonderful tool for improving communication and implementing changes. These weekly meetings teach your kids skills like how to problem solve and how to present ideas.
This is the basic outline of these meetings:
1. Go over the agenda (during the week anyone can add items to the agenda that they would like to discuss).
2. Each person takes a turn giving everyone else in the group a compliment. This helps set a positive tone and also focuses attention on what you appreciate about each other.
3. Review any action items from last week's agenda. If your family tried a solution to a problem, discuss how that solution worked. Does the solution need adjusting or changing?
4. Go through this week's agenda items. Brainstorm possible solutions to whatever problems need to be addressed. Choose one solution to try that meets everyone's needs.
5. Review the calendar for the week - who is doing what and when. Discuss any transportation related to these activties.
6. Close with a fun activity or a snack.
It's helpful to have a notebook where someone records what is discussed and decided at the meeting. This makes it easier to review any action items from the previous week's meeting (step 3 above).
You may want to limit the meetings to a certain amount of time. If you aren't able to get through all the agenda items, those can carry over to next week's agenda.
The goal is to keep the meeting positive and constructive. Ideally everyone should leave the meeting feeling like they were heard.
Family meetings are a wonderful tool for improving communication and implementing changes. These weekly meetings teach your kids skills like how to problem solve and how to present ideas.
This is the basic outline of these meetings:
1. Go over the agenda (during the week anyone can add items to the agenda that they would like to discuss).
2. Each person takes a turn giving everyone else in the group a compliment. This helps set a positive tone and also focuses attention on what you appreciate about each other.
3. Review any action items from last week's agenda. If your family tried a solution to a problem, discuss how that solution worked. Does the solution need adjusting or changing?
4. Go through this week's agenda items. Brainstorm possible solutions to whatever problems need to be addressed. Choose one solution to try that meets everyone's needs.
5. Review the calendar for the week - who is doing what and when. Discuss any transportation related to these activties.
6. Close with a fun activity or a snack.
It's helpful to have a notebook where someone records what is discussed and decided at the meeting. This makes it easier to review any action items from the previous week's meeting (step 3 above).
You may want to limit the meetings to a certain amount of time. If you aren't able to get through all the agenda items, those can carry over to next week's agenda.
The goal is to keep the meeting positive and constructive. Ideally everyone should leave the meeting feeling like they were heard.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Avoiding Your Kids Responding "You're Not Listening!"
Listening is one of those skills that really doesn't seem like it's all that difficult. Why then do so many children report that their parents don't listen to them?
Maybe it's because there are many ways to unintentionally stop conversations with your kids. These traps are so easy to fall into that you may not even realize something has gone wrong until your child walks away in a huff.
Saying Things That Stop Conversation
It’s easy to respond to your children in ways that shutdown the conversation. In his book People Skills, Robert Bolton identifies 12 conversation roadblocks.
Being judgmental:
Avoiding the child’s concerns:
(Read the rest of the article on Priceless Parenting)
Maybe it's because there are many ways to unintentionally stop conversations with your kids. These traps are so easy to fall into that you may not even realize something has gone wrong until your child walks away in a huff.
Saying Things That Stop Conversation
It’s easy to respond to your children in ways that shutdown the conversation. In his book People Skills, Robert Bolton identifies 12 conversation roadblocks.
Being judgmental:
- Criticizing: "That wasn’t a very smart thing to do."
- Name calling: "You are such a brat!"
- Diagnosing: "The reason you drag your feet on getting your chores done is that just you want to upset me."
- Praising Evaluatively: "You’re the best player in the school. The tryouts will be breeze for you."
Avoiding the child’s concerns:
(Read the rest of the article on Priceless Parenting)
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Shaming Kids is Hurtful, Not Helpful
Sometimes parents or teachers turn to shaming kids in order to try to get them to improve their behavior. They may say things like:
The biggest problem with using shame as a way to try to change kids’ behavior is that it destroys the part of them that believes they are capable of changing. A much better approach is to describe the child’s behavior and then guide the child to fixing the problems caused by this behavior. For example, “You’ve left candy wrappers on the couch.” or “You hit him and now he is crying.” Focusing on your children’s behavior instead of your children’s character, will help them make better choices in the future.
- Shame on you!
- You should know better than that.
- What were you thinking?
- Everyone else is doing what they are supposed to be doing, why can’t you?
- You’re a bad boy!
The biggest problem with using shame as a way to try to change kids’ behavior is that it destroys the part of them that believes they are capable of changing. A much better approach is to describe the child’s behavior and then guide the child to fixing the problems caused by this behavior. For example, “You’ve left candy wrappers on the couch.” or “You hit him and now he is crying.” Focusing on your children’s behavior instead of your children’s character, will help them make better choices in the future.
Friday, May 17, 2013
DANCE Parenting Classes - 3 week class starts June 3rd
Parenting is a dance you do with your kids. If you don't like their moves, take this class and learn how to change your lead! | ||||
Discover your children's strengths and increase their competence Aim for high expectations based on your children's developmental level Notice misbehavior and respond with reasonable, valuable consequences Control your reaction to stressful parenting situations Enjoy your children and take time to renew yourself | | |||
Priceless Parenting classes are grounded on decades of positive parenting experiences from real life situations and backed by the latest scientific research in child development. The DANCE Parenting Class combines the powerful online parenting classes with discussion and questions/answers with the class author, Kathy Slattengren, M.Ed. | ||||
Space is limited. Register today for one of these classes.
| ||||
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Responding to Misbehavior with Fight or Flight versus Pause and Plan
| How do you feel when your kids misbehave? When I ask parents this question during classes, the most common responses are feelings of anger, frustration and discouragement. If you're like most parents, when your kids misbehave you experience powerful, negative feelings. If you choose to act in the moment, you are likely to come up with your worst parenting responses. You may find yourself: | |
|  |
| Ouch! Why are these types of responses so easy to fall into? Responding with Fight or Flight When you get upset with your kids, your body is triggered into a fight or flight response. (Read the rest of the article on Priceless Parenting) | |
Monday, May 6, 2013
Using Punishment Versus Discipline for Misbehavior
Punishment and discipline represent two very different beliefs about how to best respond to children's misbehavior. Punishment focuses on suffering or pain as retribution, versus discipline that focuses on natural or logical consequences. With discipline it isn’t the severity of the consequence but rather the certainty that matters.
Priceless Parenting focuses on using discipline for misbehavior with the goal to help children learn from their mistakes. Eventually this discipline will come from inside your children so that when you’re not around they are still making good choices.
If you'd like to show your support for not hitting kids, please print and sign this pledge to never hit kids. Feel free to print copies for friends, family and teachers too!
If you want to learn more about how to use discipline with your children, check out our online parenting classes.
Priceless Parenting focuses on using discipline for misbehavior with the goal to help children learn from their mistakes. Eventually this discipline will come from inside your children so that when you’re not around they are still making good choices.
If you'd like to show your support for not hitting kids, please print and sign this pledge to never hit kids. Feel free to print copies for friends, family and teachers too!
If you want to learn more about how to use discipline with your children, check out our online parenting classes.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
When Your Kids Make You Feel Extremely Angry
Before I had my own kids, it was hard to imagine how parents could spank their kids. Those sweet, innocent little kids! How could anyone feel like hitting them?
It dawned on me as to how this could happen when my 3-year-old daughter helped me get in touch with my own anger. I actually didn't think I had that much anger! She would look me straight in the eye and do exactly what she knew she wasn't supposed to be doing. She directly challenged me ... I'm doing this and what do you plan to do about it?
I was so tempted to spank her to teach her that I was stronger than her and she had better not be doing this again. Yet I had promised myself that I wouldn't hit my kids. I needed a better approach and so my husband and I took parenting classes. We found that there are many better approaches ... we just needed to learn them and use them.
I founded Priceless Parenting 6 years ago to share these ideas with parents everywhere. April 30th is International SpankOut Day. If you are ready to learn alternatives to spanking, take one of Priceless Parenting's online parenting classes - Ages 5 and Under, 6 to 12 or 13 to 18. Start today!
It dawned on me as to how this could happen when my 3-year-old daughter helped me get in touch with my own anger. I actually didn't think I had that much anger! She would look me straight in the eye and do exactly what she knew she wasn't supposed to be doing. She directly challenged me ... I'm doing this and what do you plan to do about it?
I was so tempted to spank her to teach her that I was stronger than her and she had better not be doing this again. Yet I had promised myself that I wouldn't hit my kids. I needed a better approach and so my husband and I took parenting classes. We found that there are many better approaches ... we just needed to learn them and use them.
I founded Priceless Parenting 6 years ago to share these ideas with parents everywhere. April 30th is International SpankOut Day. If you are ready to learn alternatives to spanking, take one of Priceless Parenting's online parenting classes - Ages 5 and Under, 6 to 12 or 13 to 18. Start today!
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Take a Quick Parenting Quiz to Consider How Things Are Going for You
Parenting is full of challenges. Each age and stage of your children's lives brings new joys along with new things to learn. All parents struggle at times with their children's behavior.
If you're interested in some questions that will help you consider how things are going for you, take this quick parenting quiz.
If you're interested in some questions that will help you consider how things are going for you, take this quick parenting quiz.
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