A mom taking an online parenting class called to discuss how it was going. She loved the new ideas she was learning. These approaches were quite different than how she was raised in India where her parents gave her orders and she simply obeyed. Giving her own 6-year-old daughter orders wasn’t working well so she took this class to learn new approaches.
She discovered ideas that worked really well with her daughter. However, she quickly learned that it was easy to accidentally switch back to her old parenting ways. She decided to help herself and her husband remember how they wanted to parent by writing some key ideas down on notes. She then posted these notes throughout her house.
She’s found that having the notes around really help her out. She removes the notes when they have guests over and then puts them back up once the company leaves. These little notes are doing a great job reminding her of the new skills she wants to use with her daughter.
You love your children. You work hard to provide them healthy food and a happy home. You try to teach them right from wrong. You know you need to set limits on inappropriate behavior.
You have all the right ingredients and yet sometimes your interactions with your kids don’t live up to your expectations. There’s too much yelling and stress – not enough fun and enjoyment. When you’re in the middle of it all, it’s hard to figure out what needs to change so there’s less conflict and more cooperation.
This reminds me of my experience of making Red Thai Curry. I had all the right ingredients, followed the directions and yet it never tasted as good as a restaurant’s version. Finally after enjoying the Red Thai Curry at the Bangkok Thai Restaurant in Enumclaw, I asked the chef the secret to her delicious sauce. She told me to cook the red curry paste in oil for a few minutes to bring out the flavors and then add about 1/4 can of the coconut milk and cook it another 10 minutes before adding the rest of the can, soy sauce and brown sugar. Wow - cooking the paste in oil first made all the difference!
Likewise, you’ve got the right ingredients for being an awesome parent. Now you just need to fine tune your approach to bring out the best in your kids. Learn how in our online parenting classes:
If you live in the Seattle area, you are invited to join me for a 6-week parenting class at Evergreen Hospital in Kirkland, WA. Two sessions are available starting:
Jan. 11 to Feb. 15, 2013 9:30 - 11:30 AM (ages 1 to 5)
Jan. 11 to Feb. 15, 2013 noon - 2:00 PM (ages 6 to 12)
A grandmother wrote to “Ask Amy” expressing concern over her 3-year-old grandson’s lack of discipline.
“The parents have opted for a ‘no-spank’ approach to child discipline, which I support. However, what I see is essentially no discipline. They say things like, ‘That’s not nice’ and ‘You shouldn’t do that,’ but I don’t see any consequence for wrong behavior.” She goes onto say “My husband and I have a hard time sitting and saying nothing in what is basically a child-run home.”
Having a young child calling the shots at home is definitely a recipe for disaster! While Amy recommends a parenting book, many people need more than just a book to help them change their behavior.
Internationally recognized parenting educator Kathy Slattengren founded PricelessParenting.com for online classes in 2007. Kathy is dedicated to teaching parents critical skills needed for effectively responding to their children's behavior while building warm, loving relationships.
While raising her own two children, she learned many wonderful parenting techniques from classes, seminars and books. By studying parenting research, she discovered a universal body of knowledge about how effective parents do their job.
Starting in 2000, Kathy transformed parenting research into classes that are easy to understand and apply. Online classes began in 2007. Parents report how much happier and calmer their homes are after applying ideas from the Priceless Parenting classes.
Kathy and her husband live in Seattle with their two teenagers.
You might think … the internet has lots of parenting information. Why do I need a class?
The real question is … how can I bridge the gap between reading information and the daily practice of good parenting skills, so I can improve life with my kids?
Today I want to tell you how Priceless Parenting crosses the chasm of learning - how we bridge the gap between reading a good parenting concept and creating a good relationship with our kids. Here is the 1-2-3 punch I will share with you:
1. Priceless Parenting concepts - what is in the class! 2. How we use repetition to reinforce concepts and speed up learning 3. How we use a variety of training modes for interaction, learning and sharing
Please watch the video and tell me what you think.
In a few days I will send an email about how to get the training, and when the training will begin, along with my personal guarantee to you. If you are not signed up to receive informational emails from me, please opt-in to the "New Parenting Solutions" email list. If you opt-in, I will send you my Priceless Parenting Cheat Sheet, which provides important topics of the training, including training tips for parents.
We all want the best for our kids, and it is frustrating when kids don't cooperate and we are not having fun together. We should be having fun together.
2010 is a new year and it is time to add some new approaches to PricelessParenting.com training. I am thrilled about the improvements and I can't wait to tell you about the revised training program. You will see parenting skills and kids' behavior improve daily. But I am getting ahead of myself.
First it is important to share my parenting philosophy, which is the foundation of Priceless Parenting training. When you get to know me a little bit, you can decide if we belong on the same parenting team. Our 2010 improvements will only be valuable to you if we share similar objectives for parenting our children.
Please watch this short video and tell me what you think in the comments below.
In a few days I will post more information about the training. If you'd like to receive these informational emails from me, please opt-in to the "New Parenting Solutions" email list. If you opt-in, I will send you my Priceless Parenting Cheat Sheet, which provides important topics of the training, including training tips for parents.
I will get back to you in a few days with a detailed description of the training program, including what's new for 2010.
When we continually repeat a behavior, it becomes a habit. Once it becomes automatic, we don’t usually think before doing it.
What are some parenting behaviors that we do not want to make into habits?
Nagging and reminding our children
Yelling at our children when they misbehave
Ordering our children around
Swearing when something goes wrong
Lecturing our children
To break a negative habit first takes awareness and then dedication and practice to change it.
I was recently with a family where the parents consistently pointed out what their girls were doing wrong or could potentially do wrong. I thought these girls would be in tears with all these negative messages; however, I noticed the daughters dealt with it by tuning their parents out.
The parenting habits we develop have a huge impact on the overall joy in our families. Monitoring and changing our own behavior is the key to increasing positive feelings for everyone. It certainly isn't easy but taking the seven lesson Priceless Parenting course can help reinforce positive parenting behaviors.
If children did come with a manual, parenting would be much easier! There is a wonderful Huffington Post article describing the importance of parent education.
The article begins "You'd never hire someone to do the most difficult and important job on Earth, give them the responsibility to care for your most valuable asset, and toss him or her head first into the job without any training. Yet, we do it every day as new parents, each time a child is born."
The author goes on to describe specific examples of the impact of parenting and parent education. How we choose to parent certainly affects our family's future happiness.
I was shopping at Trader Joes when I overheard a mom struggling with her young daughter who was sitting in the front of their shopping cart. Mom was agreeing “OK, I’ll give you one money.” The daughter whined “Nooooo, I want TWO monies!” Mom fished around her purse and handed her a couple coins. The daughter then yelled “That’s not enough!” and began crying.
Mom begged her to please stop crying because she really needed to get this shopping done before they could go home. Mom was exasperated as her daughter continued to cry.
If you find yourself begging your kids to behave, it’s time to find some better parenting approaches! Learn some effective ways to set limits with your children while building loving relationships by taking the Priceless Parenting online parenting class.
Parenting would be easier if there were warning signs along the way similar to the warning signs along a road. All parents want to know when sharp curves are approaching, where to tread lightly because of thin ice and exactly where the dangerous drop-offs are located!
By understanding the potential problem areas, you are more likely to able to steer clear of them. For example, knowing that two and three-year-olds will have tantrums can make handling these inevitable meltdowns easier by allowing you to plan your response. Likewise, knowing that multi-player internet games are highly addictive can help you decide whether or not those games are something you will allow your children to play.
Taking a parenting class is one way to learn what to expect along the bumpy road of raising children. The Priceless Parenting online parenting class is available wherever you are located and is designed to help you avoid parenting pitfalls!
Disagreements between parents on discipline become quickly apparent when children are 2 or 3 years old and are really testing the limits. If one parent tends to be the disciplinarian while the other is far more permissive, children learn to play one parent against the other. Children may also show a strong preference for being with the parent who sets fewer rules.
Taking a parenting class is a wonderful way for parents to explore options and agree on a common parenting approach. By learning effective ways to deal with parenting challenges and hearing other people’s parenting stories, parents can discuss and decide on the approach they want to take. Wherever you are located, a great way to get on the same parenting page is by taking the Priceless Parenting online parenting class!
One mom told me that when she took the Priceless Parenting course, she realized how often she was falling into the Personal Assistant parenting style. She found herself helping her 4-year-old son with many things he really could do for himself like putting on his clothes. Almost every morning she battled with him over getting dressed. When he was slow in putting on his clothes, she would eventually get frustrated and just do it for him.
After she recognized the problems caused by jumping in and rescuing him, she decided to let him have ownership of getting himself dressed. If he went quickly, he would have time for breakfast. If he was super slow, he had to go to school in his pajamas and get dressed there. The morning fights over the clothes stopped. Sometimes he wore mismatched socks along with shirts and pants that didn't go together but he was proud to have dressed himself!
One mom wrote about her success in allowing her children to solve their own problems. After completing the third lesson in the Priceless Parenting class, she described what she tried and how the new parenting techniques worked:
'Fresh off Lesson #3 from today’s parenting course, I jumped into it with vigor.
“I’m bored!” my son whined.
“Oh, what are you going to do?” I asked.
He was stunned.
Normally, I offer helpful hints, tips and tricks to avoid the Boredom Monster. After he recovered from his initial shock, my son said, “I think I’ll call Anton.” He quickly got distracted with something his sister was doing, then proudly announced 30 minutes later that he decided now would be a good time to call his friend. They made a playdate. After a quick peck on the cheek, he was out the door.
My daughter, who tends to challenge me wherever I go, looked me squarely in the eye and said, “I’m doing the rest of my homework after dance class.” She laid out a sensible plan. “Sounds like you know what you are doing!” was all I said. Another stunned silence ensued. No bickering? Commanding? Bossing around? I smiled sweetly and wished her good luck. My daughter looked about her, put on her shoes, and left for Hip Hop.
Fast-forward a few hours. The kids came home. My daughter dilly-dallied. It started to get late.
“Oh, didn’t you say you were going to read outloud?” She claimed she already had. When I reminded her she had said she would do so in front of her father, she had no where to go. “Are you going to read now or after your shower?” She started to squirm. I could tell my calm, question-based parenting was started to sink in. It really is her responsibility to make certain things get done in her life.'
Christine Hohlbaum, author of S.A.H.M. I Am: Tales of a Stay-at-Home Mom in Europe, recently reviewed the Priceless Parenting course. In her review titled "The Class of a Lifetime" she wrote about trying out some of the new ideas with her kids:
“It comes down to this: speaking in 'I' statements while telling our kids what we are going to do, alleviates common power struggles virtually immediately. I tested it out on my seven and nine-year-old. It was amazing! Instead of shouting "Get your shoes on!" while trying to get out the door, I said, "I will be in the car if you are looking for me." Or this: "I see the struggle here. What are you going to do?" Leaving the problem up to the kid while showing interest is the key to raising independent thinkers.
I highly recommend this course. To quote Obama in his Inaugural address: "We will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist."
Parenting needn't be a tug-of-war. With love, compassion and effective communication, we can reach common ground. Together.”
I much prefer the saying “practice makes better” to “practice makes perfect” especially when it comes to parenting. There are no perfect parents and trying to achieve some type of perfection often leads to feeling insufficient as a parent. However, we can all improve our parenting by practicing skills that have been proven to work well in raising responsible, respectful children.
Developing great parenting habits takes plenty of practice … and your kids are ready to give you just the practice you need! How can you learn these parenting skills? Taking the Priceless Parenting class is one great way to discover these proven techniques and the homework at the end of every lesson provides many practice opportunities! Practicing these effective parenting skills will help those skills become a solid part of your parenting habits.
If you could resolve to do something in 2009 that has the potential of greatly improving your relationship with your children what would it be? After giving it some thought, I decided I’m going to work on becoming a better listener.
Now that both my children are teenagers, it’s more important than ever that I take time to really listen to them. I’ve read plenty of research reporting teenagers often feel their parents don’t listen to them but those same parents feel they are listening to their teens. Why is there such a discrepancy between what the teens and parents think?
Maybe it’s because there are a lot of ways for parents to unintentionally stop conversations with their kids. For example, if your child is telling you about being nervous for an upcoming test, these types of responses will probably leave your child feeling unheard:
Analyzing: “I think you just like to focus on being worried about the test because that’s easier than actually studying for it.”
Reassuring: “You’ve studied enough. I’m sure you’ll do great on the test.”
Giving advice: “If you study an hour right before going to bed, you’ll probably remember more for the test tomorrow.”
Even though I know about various roadblocks to conversation and even covered this topic in the Priceless Parenting class, I still find myself using these types of responses. Knowing something is certainly not the same as being able to consistently do it. This year I’m going to work on avoiding conversation roadblocks and really listen to my children!
Being a parent certainly presents plenty of difficult challenges (who can ever forget trying to stay cool, calm and collected while your child has a meltdown!). However, the time and energy you put into becoming the best possible parent you can be starts paying off when your children become teenagers. Now that my youngest recently turned 13 and my oldest is 16 we are starting to enjoy the benefits.
They’re teens who are generally responsible, helpful and a lot of fun to have around. Did we just get lucky? No, we spent a lot of time learning from parenting experts and then invested significant time and energy into changing our own behavior. We spent years practicing things like responding with empathy instead of anger to misbehavior, guiding our children to solving their own problems instead of solving it for them and avoiding lecturing, yelling or nagging.
They are not rebellious teenagers because they don’t have a reason to be rebellious. At this point they are in control of most of the important decisions in their lives like: when/where/how to do homework, who to hang out with, what to do with their free time, how to handle time commitment conflicts, when to go to bed and when to get up. We’ve slowly built up their level of freedom and responsibility over the years so that they now have the skills to make wise decisions.
Could they make a major mistake like trying drugs or getting pregnant? This certainly could happen but is less likely because they know they are responsible for dealing with the consequences of their decisions. We’ve often told them that the quality of their lives will depend on the decisions they make.
Where are these parenting skills taught? You can discover the universal parenting skills that have worked well for countless parents by taking the online Priceless Parenting class. The investment you make in improving your parenting is the best investment you’ll ever make!
